Structure for Support
Structure for Support LLC
Oakdale, CT 06370
charliec
additional resources for couples
Intimacy and conflict are at the heart of every relationship.
To help couples learn how to fulfill their intimacy needs and how to have conflicts that lead to productive outcomes, Michael Lillibridge, Ph.D., the founder of PeopleMapTM, devised two short and highly insightful questionnaires.
The sessions described below are designed to help you determine and explore your individual intimacy and conflict resolution styles. The knowledge you gain of your styles and those of your spouse and others in your life will lead to new levels of love and success in your relationships.
The Intimacy Styles Questionnaire
What is it that makes you feel loved and secure in a relationship? Has it occurred to you or have you noticed that what works for you may not always work your partner?
While no two people are the same, it may be that you and your partner have fundamentally different intimacy styles. The Intimacy Styles Questionnaire measures for love styles: Communication, Affection, Touch and Activities. In a one-hour couples session, you each take the questionnaire and determine your individual intimacy styles. Then we discuss the results so you get really clear on what each of your styles are and what each of you are really looking for in terms of intimacy. We also review the other intimacy styles to get a true appreciation for what makes our styles unique. A twelve page booklet is provided which includes the questionnaire and descriptive materials.
The Conflict Resolution Styles Questionnaire measures four different styles people use to resolve differences that come up between themselves and others (i.e. boss-subordinate, husband-wife, team members-employee-client, etc.).
The Interpersonal Conflict Resolution Styles are: The Direct Style, The Step by Step Style, The Idea Generator, The Harmonizer.
Each Conflict Resolution style has its strengths and weaknesses. Knowing your style and the style of the person you are having a conflict with can go a long way to resolving differences and creating a win-win solution.
In a couples or individual session of 1.5 hours, you first take the questionnaire, then we discuss the results and review the four conflict resolution styles so that you are prepared to interact with any style. A twenty page booklet is provided including the questionnaire and descriptive materials.
DO YOU HAVE CHILDREN?
Studies have shown that children who witness their parents fighting are likely to be harmed in lasting ways. However, the studies have also shown that if the child witnesses resolution to the fighting they are much less disturbed. In addition, the children are learning that conflicts can be resolved, as well as observing how it can be done. Becoming aware of differences in your Conflict Resolution Styles can greatly enhance the probability that your arguments and discussions will have agreeable outcomes.
The Intimacy Styles and Conflict Resolution Styles quesionnaires are very effective at getting you to see yourself and others from new perspectives. They lead to immediate understanding and tolerance, and provide insights for how to make your relationships more effective and rewarding. This is good stuff; you can gain a lot in a short period of time.
The Intimacy Styles Questionnaire and the Conflict Resolution Styles Questionnaire are offered to individuals and couples who have taken the PeopleMap personality type questionnaire.
Do unto others...
We've been taught, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. But this philosophy only works to a degree. And in a significant relationship, it can lead to problems. Instead, you might consider a different philosophy: do unto others as they would like done unto them.
What I'm getting at is that we are all different, we have different needs and styles, and that what is important and works for me may not be important or work for you. Each partner is giving the best they know how, yet the other partner is not getting their needs met.
It's hard for us to realize that there are fundamental differences between us and other people. We think other people are essentially the same as we are, and it's not entirely true.
These two sessions will make the differences between you and others abundantly clear, so you can understand why you haven't been getting your needs met and why you haven't been meeting the needs of your partner.
Once you can see the differences, the rest is fairly easy.
If you have any questions about these questionnaires, or are interested in participating in a session, please Contact Me and I will get back to you right away.
Charles F. Chase, Certified Professional Coach
Structure for Support LLC
Oakdale, CT 06370
charliec